VOGUE SAYS IT ALL

I seem to remember this quote is from the Vogue 100 years issue. How true.

SHYLOCK IS MY NAME  - HOWARD JACOBSON

 

 

JACOBSON REIMAGINES THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. I HAVE A LOT OF TIME FOR JACOBSON, WHOSE IMAGINATION ENABLES STORIES THAT CAPTIVATE AND DELIGHT. IN THIS STORY I LEARNED THINGS ABOUT JEWS, SHAKESPEARE AND THE MERCHANT. I STILL BELIEVE SHAKESPEARE WAS A PLOT DEVISED IN THE 17TH CENTURY BY A TROUPE OF ITINERANT JESTERS TO PERSUADE KNOBS THAT THEY WERE IMPORTANT AND/OR INTELLIGENT SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY HAD READ HIM. OR SEEN HIS PLAYS OR INDEED A MOVIE OR TWO. WHERE WOULD KENNETH BRANAGH BE WITHOUT SHAKEPEARE? STILL TEACHING AT HOGWARTS PROBABLY. I'M NOT SURE IF CLASSIC COMICS EVER DID SHAKESPEARE. THEY PROBABLY COULDN'T LOWER THEMSELVES.

THE BOOK? BUY IT, READ IT, YOU'LL LOVE IT. 

FLESH AND BLOOD - PATRICIA CORNWELL

HERE'S THE COVER

AND HERE'S THE FIRST PAGE

 

AND THAT'S WHY CORNWELL CAN GIVE ME THE SCREAMING HABDABS. SEVERAL PAGES OF WHITE, RICH PRIVILEGE THAT ADD NOTHING TO THE STORY BUT DEMONSTRATE HOW FABULOUS CORNWELL HERSELF IS.

SHE'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF WRITING AN ENGROSSING STORY WITHOUT THESE RANDOM, SELF-AGGRANDIZING AND POINTLESS INSERTIONS, ALTHOUGH I ALSO DON'T NEED TO HEAR THE SOUND OF A STRKER SAW STARTING UP AS SOME POOR INDIVIDUAL LOSES THE TOP OF HIS/HER SKULL.

THIS STORY SETS UP THE NEXT NOVEL WHICH MAY WELL BE CALLED FLESH AND BLOOD AND WINE VINEGAR SOURCED FROM A NAPA VALLEY BOUTIQUE WINE VINEGAR PRODUCER NAMED ERNESTO. A LONG TITLE THAT MIGHT NOT FIT ON THE COVER.

PATRICIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING AND I ACCEPT YOU PROBABLY AREN'T, CUT OUT THE EXCESS DROSS. GET RID OF THE ADJECTIVES AND DESCRIPTIONS OF LUCY'S LOVE LIFE, WHICH ADD PRACTICALLY NOTHING TO THE STORY, AND TRY SOMETHING RADICAL, LIKE MOBILE TELEPHONES BEING UNAVAILABLE FOR LONG PERIODS BECAUSE THE PERP BLEW UP ALL THE TOWERS. (THIS IS A PERSONAL DREAM I'VE HAD FOR A WHILE.) AS FOR PETE MARINO, HE NEEDS TO RETIRE AND BE REPLACED BY SOMEONE WITH LESS OF AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM BUT THE SAME SET OF SKILLS. HE'S BECOME BORING.